Shit My Hag Says

The wonderful wisdoms of my housemate Becky.

He’d be hotter if he didn’t have eyebrows.

I don’t have any views on interior design other than “stick a dead fox on it!!

That is why you are in a plastic box and we are drinking wine.

—*Watching a hamster eating poo*

‘Parentheses’, that would be a good name for a child. It sounds mythic, like ‘Hercules’.

I have ex-mucus-y flu face!!

I feel sad that I can’t tuck my flaps into my jacket.

I’ll just be sat in the prostitute holding area with nothing to do.

I kinda want to sleep with Vijaya just because I’m kind of turned on by the name.

—Watching the Million Pound Drop

*holds arms like a t-rex* Is this why dinosaurs can’t make coffee?

  • [Name Censored]: Yay, I got 100 likes on something on facebook.
  • Becky: 100 likes does not equal a love.